And sometimes...

... things just don't work out the way you want or expect. I had my exploratory surgery yesterday and the doctor was unable to do the repair procedure we hoped for. Still on the roller coaster, no hope of ever getting off. And so it goes.

I did have a great overnight with my daughter though - she's an awesome little nurse and we had a great time visting and crafting. Here's one of my items from today - my Dad's 75th birthday card. His birthday is next Sunday. sure wish I could be there with him.

A whole lotta thinkin' going on...

My surgeon's office called Wednesday to give me an earlier surgery date after I had to cancel January's surgery. I had that adrenaline rush when I got the call - "oh good, oh shit, oh yes, oh no!" After two poor nights of sleep and a great physio session, I slept well last night, and feel pretty good today.

Crohn's disease. For a couple years my GI and I have been waffling, hoping what had been ulcerative colitis for many years had not progressed to Crohn's. Well - I think it's now a done deal. Crohn's it is. After having major surgery 11 months ago, colectomy and ileostomy, I am still having issues that are definitely Crohn's-related. Abscess. Fistula. Arthritis.

I have learned alot through this journey living with a chronic illness, and continue to learn --- about myself and my strengths, about attitude, about loved ones, family, friends. And the most important thing I've learned --- you cannot do it yourself. Accept and appreciate the help you are offered, be it a ride to an appointment, a listening ear, a bit of advice. Thank you to all of you who are there during it all. xo

If you would like to learn more about IBD (inflammatory bowel disease) there are great resources:

CCFC - Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of Canada

Uncover Ostomy - an awareness project

Colitis Blog - a scientist-patient looks at IBD

last two album pics

these pages are special to me - the first shows my mom and my son --- the day before the party, we three went and decorated. derek couldn't be at the party, so he made up for it by making vases full of cranberries and candles, and flowers... and decorated the place up for his little sis. I had made a dozen huge pompoms to represent snowballs to hang from a beam on the ceiling. However - after going up a ladder twice Derek informed me "eff that, you get four pompoms instead of 12." --- didn't like the ladder :)

Wedding album part 3

Wedding Album continued

Jamie and Adam's wedding album

I'm almost done the wedding album - very productive day on Saturday and today... here are the first few.